Thursday, August 28, 2008

Gym Chronicles -My first day at the gym

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*breathe in*
*breath out*

*breathe in*
*breath out*

*breathe in*
*breath out*

the sound of metal, the music, the smell of grease, the sweaty bodies, trainer shoes, good looking men,pumping iron and a trainer. All this combine up to make a first class GYMNASIUM/Body Building club.

This is not the case in my scenario, aur ho bhi kese sakta hey, meri life mein aaj tak kuch normal hua hey :P
Its not like I been to many GYMS before, but this is typically THE scene u imagine of when talking of one.
A health website said, if u aren't able to see ur feet whilst standing straight(i.e ur tummy blocks tha view) MAN!! ur FAT, and duh! yes it happened to me. Abey yaar... har buri cheez mere saath kiun. Now am getting FAT, AGAIN!
last season of ramazan, casuall visits to my GYM*, and a job at Connect Communications made me fit into my old pair of jeans and Medium Sized T-shirts, which eventually got undersized by this ramaza. Now with a new resolution to work out more honeslty, eat more healthy and avoid junk food, i've joined the GYM again.
GYM in my case is not a GYM actually, i shud call it an AKHAARA to be more precise.
With mostly bacloch ppl/bus conductors/MQM ghundas/ and some models, the scene is quite absurd. With a HUGE setup in the KGA Gymkhana, besides the cricket pitch, there stands two, 7-feet long posters of Arnold Schwardzenneger, and a banner saying,"ENTER as U, Exit as HIM" obviusoy written by a TYPICAL BALOCH bhai, dictated by MR. TAI, he is the owner of the place, though he never visits it, even for the karate classes there.
My coach, or... i shd rather call him a PEHELWAAN. A coach is a 6 feet taal, 42inch wide, perfectly toned body, HUMAN looking guy, who advices you nifty excercises, usually speaks english and promises to make you a replica of him in a year.
On the other hand, my intructor aka JAANU PEHELWAAN is a 7 feet tall punjabi, 60" wide, 150kg heavy, heavily moustached, messy oily hair, topless body resembling YOGI bear, and a big ass TOUND(D-tummy) comes to me, pats hard on my back and says,"Or jawaan.. patla hona hey"
i was like....*yikes*
mr. pehelwan points me to a tilted bench, and says "ja jaawaann, pait laga". hain? matlab?
matlab... he asked me to do some crunches. " jaannu bhai ktine lagaon?" the reply comes," AAdaai soo(250)"
umm... okie.. i did as he said.

*First Cunch*
*breath out*

*Second crunch*
*breath out*

" arey... its a peice of cake, 250 toh ho jaeinge ....."

*third crunch*
fooooo!

*fourth crunch*
okie.. its not THAT easy

*5th crunch*
aarrgghhhH!!!!!

*6th crunch*
what the fuck!

*7th crunch*
atleast three more please

*8th crunch*
GOD please

*9th crunch*
Aaahhhh.... BLACK OUT !!!

out cold. There laid me, on the inclined bench, almost dead, for the flies to lick my sweat until other members came and picked me up.

"jaanu bhai... mera pehla din hey, bachey ki jaan loge kia"

Jaanu Pehelwaan... no doubt is the worst Gym Coach in the world.
I have a diet plan made by mr. VENU Gopal from India now. I really idolize him. He is the owner and the trainer at Belair health Club india.

his prescribed diet plan and excercise routine had helped me to loose some inches on my waist line and a few kgs, last time.
I strive to follow the plan and routine more puntually this time.
wish me luck folks
and be ready to have a look at the new GHOURI in a month or so
with revamped body.


:)

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2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Matlab Full REVAMPED BODY :D lolz

CHal dekhaty hain Inshallah koi farq to paray ga he :)

Munis said...

hota hai first time yea sub! meray saath b howa tha! :D